Who Am I Living For?
by bitchboughtmycookie
Summary: AU Klaine fanfiction based on MotherGoddamn's The Lost Nightingale/The Swan Song. Kind of pointless to read this if you hadn't read that. Um... my first songfic in a long time. Enjoy :


A/N This was based on The Lost Nightingale/The Swan Song by MotherGoddamn, both of which can be found in my favourites…. somewhere. Anyway, shuffle played this song as I was reading the epilogue of The Swan Song, and voila, this fanfiction idea presented itself to me. It's been ages since I wrote a songfic. This could be fun.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, this song, nor any of the original ideas that came from the story.

Who Am I Living For?

Blaine felt himself slipping under the anaesthesia for what felt like the hundredth time since he had moved to Ohio. As with every time he slipped under, he felt the warm comfort of the hand in his. His hand. Blaine was eternally grateful to the boy that never left his side during all this worry and anxiety.

_I can feel a phoenix inside of me__  
><em>_As I march alone to a different beat__  
><em>_Slowly swallowing down my fear, yeah, yeah__  
><em>_I am ready for the road less travelled__  
><em>_Suiting up for my crowning battle__  
><em>_This is test is my own cross to bear__  
><em>_But I will get there_

As usual, the lucid state caused by the anaesthesia setting in made memories of his old life pass before his eyes. All the people and the sequence of events that had led to him being here. Images of nightingales fluttered in front of his eyes. Wonderful thoughts of Kurt singing, scary thoughts of Kurt covered in blood. Karofsky, Rachel, Sam, April, Brittany, Artie, Goolsby, Santana…. Blaine thought of them all.__

_It's never easy to be chosen__  
><em>_Never easy to be called__  
><em>_Standing on the front line__  
><em>_When the bombs start to fall__  
><em>_I can see heavens__  
><em>_But I still hear the flames__  
><em>_Calling out my name_

Without him, Blaine had resigned himself to death. The tumour in his brain, Blaine never thought of it. Pretended it didn't exist. Knew it would take him one day, and the day it did, he would be ready. Threw himself into his work, his alcohol, his cigarettes. Anything to avoid thinking about the boy he loved and had given up. Yes, Blaine knew it was to keep him safe. Yet it didn't make it any easier. And so he drank to forget the pain.__

_I can see the writing on the wall__  
><em>_I can't ignore this war__  
><em>_At the end of it all__  
><em>_Who am I living for?_

The day Kurt turned up on his doorstep for the second time, Blaine tried everything he could to push Kurt away. And nothing he did was enough.__

_I can feel this light that's inside of me__  
><em>_Growing fast into a bolt of lightning__  
><em>_I know one spark will shock the world, yeah, yeah__  
><em>_So I pray for favor like Esther__  
><em>_I need your strength to handle the pressure__  
><em>_I know there will be sacrifice__  
><em>_But that's the price_

Yet he still tried. Risked his already ending life in order to protect Kurt. And Blaine knew that it was worth every effort it took. Because, even if Blaine wasn't going to live, he wanted Kurt to live. To love.__

_It's never easy to be chosen__  
><em>_Never easy to be called__  
><em>_Standing on the front line__  
><em>_When the bombs start to fall__  
><em>_I can see heavens__  
><em>_But I still hear the flames__  
><em>_Calling out my name_

When Kurt found out about his tumour, he seemed insistent that Blaine could be healed. Could be fixed. Blaine almost scoffed at that. Karma, he thought inwardly. Karma for everything he had done in his life was finally catching up with him. And he didn't care. Let karma take him, he thought. He had nothing to live for.__

_I can see the writing on the wall__  
><em>_I can't ignore this war__  
><em>_At the end of it all__  
><em>_Who am I living for?  
>Who am I living for?<em>__

_At the end, at the end__  
><em>_Who am I living for?__  
><em>_At the end, at the end__  
><em>_Who am I living for?_

Or so he thought. Until he heard Kurt utter 'I love you.' to him once again, after many years of not hearing those words fall from Kurt's perfect lips. That's when he realised he had something to live for.__

_Heavy is head that wears the crown__  
><em>_Don't let the greatness get you down__  
><em>_Heavy is head that wears the crown__  
><em>_Don't let the greatness get you down_

And so here he was, in Ohio, slipping into unconsciousness on an operating table, one place he had promised himself he would never end up. And yet here he was, taking this risk for Kurt. Because Kurt said he couldn't live without him. And, if Blaine was honest, he was afraid of a life without Kurt. It was with Kurt's image in his mind that everything went dark.__

_I can see the writing on the wall__  
><em>_I can't ignore this war__  
><em>_At the end of it all__  
><em>_Who am I living for?  
>Who am I living for?<em>

_At the end, at the end__  
><em>_Who am I living for?__  
><em>_At the end, at the end__  
><em>_Who am I living for?_

It was some hours later that Blaine felt his eyes opening, though to Blaine it felt like minutes. Blaine winced at the harsh light invading his senses, grimacing at the dull ache in his head. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the light of the room he was in, flawless skin and beautiful glasz eyes came into focus. He felt the soft press of lips against his, and Blaine's lips curled up into a smile. His eyes filled with tears as the beautiful angel above him, his Kurt, muttered the words 'Congratulations, Blaine. The tumour is gone.'


End file.
